Saturday, July 6, 2013

Poker Run

So another year.. How? I don't even know. Today is the 3rd Annual Poker Run. I couldn't go, but I was able to watch as it made its way through Clymer.  Train wreck is a good way to describe myself after that. 

First off I would have had an amazing video of it. Only to realize when I went to stop it that it didn't record.  Really? Why is the world going to be against me today. My life I swear.. So that's the 1st thing I'm going to pout about. 

Anyways.. I've been nervous about it all morning. You don't realize how much you can hide from something. Then there are days when it just smacks you right in the face. Every year at this time it's so overwhelming. Just 3 years ago we were on pre-deployment leave gearing up for another round. 3 years. I can't believe it's been that long. At the same time it feels like it was just yesterday. 

It's overwhelming to watch all of the bikes and cars move through together. So powerful. It almost reminds me of the days we brought him home and said see you later. Such amazing people tied together by a tragedy. 

Through it all its time to remember Josh. Remember the person he was and the sacrifice that he made. The world will never stop turning. We all had to keep moving forward. It never leaves your mind, but on days like today it's a lot stronger memory.. 

I'm so proud.. To watch everyone remember him reminds me why he chose this life and why it ultimately ended that way. I remember the days he fought with his dad about joining. He was so adamant and determined to serve his country as a marine. And he did. 

7 years ago I never would have thought this is where either of us would be. I guess God has a plan even if we don't understand it. I will keep pushing forward like he would want me to, but today is a day I could crawl back to being my hermit crab self. I hope everyone on the run has an amazing day and it will be in my thoughts. It's a day to celebrate a life. 

Tomorrow I will wake up and continue on with my life, but for the rest of the today I might be a little bitter about it.