..where will you be?
This question was asked today. I was in a class doing an assignment and this was part of it.
When the professor asked, it hit me like a ton of bricks. For the first time in years I had absolutely no idea what to say. I don't have a freaking clue.
I swear I have OCD when it comes to planning. I mean, you know that. I always had everything figured out perfectly. We had our life figured out and that was perfect too. Now I'm just not sure. Where do I go? What do I do? Will I get married? Will I have a family? Is someone going to love me and take care of me?
I don't know.
I was so happy with you. I'm not happy now and I want to be so badly. I want the pain and hurt to just go away already. We're pushing 9 weeks and it's not getting any better. I can do a million things to try and forget about it for a little while, but it never works.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.. It's about learning to dance in the rain.."
I'm trying to do that. I really am. However, it's a lot harder than it sounds. Trying to make a positive out of an extremely large negative. This care package drive is nothing short of amazing right now and I'm so excited to be doing it.
But no matter what I do, it's not changing what's going on in my life. I want you here and I can't. You know better than anyone that I don't like it when things don't go my way. Extremely grouchy pickle right now.
So. Ten years? I don't know. But could you figure it out for me because not having a plan is making me crazy. Ask Lauren. She just pointed out how much of a planner I am haha. I'm glad you guys know me oh so well :)
Babe, fix it. You were way better at fixing things than I am.