Friday, January 21, 2011

Almost there

Homecoming is so incredibly close.  I'm not sure why, but today my stomach is in knots.  I was okay most of the morning because I have three classes in a row and no time to think about it.  Now I'm ridiculously bored at work so what do I do?  Facebook creep.  What is all over the place?  Homecoming excitement.  Fml.

I don't know babe.  A lot of people are making me feel like I shouldn't go.  Maybe they're right.  I don't know if I can do it..

You better find a way to tell me what to do because I'm really starting to back away from going.  It feels like this is "it."

9 comments:

  1. I've read other blogs about widow's (I know you don't like that word) going to the homecomings, and they actually are glad they do. It won't be "closure" in it at all, but it might help a little. I have faith in you, and I know Josh still does too. You may regret not going..but my opinion may not matter, but I say go for it. When that day comes and if you decide to go, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers all day! You're a strong girl!

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  2. I know you dont know me but i lost my husband on the 3rd of sept 2010. i went through the same thing as you and i found that going was the best thing for me. i got to see the guys that he was with our friends his family. it was not a closure but it made me feel as if he was there and that all was going to be ok later down the line. i hoope this helps you out

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  3. I think you should go. It's going to be hard. and you will cry, but at the same time you'll get to be there for everyone that has been and will be there for you for the rest of forever. I bet they would be glad to see you. They'll hug you. In the end, you'll be happy you went to see all of Josh's 'brothers' and welcome them home even though Josh won't be stepping off the bus. He'll be standing right beside you the whole time holding onto you while you wait, while you cry and while you greet everyone. everyone is behind Chrissy. No matter what decision you make.

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  4. Chrissy I think you should go. I think you will regret not going. You have been looking ahead to this homecoming for so long. even after you lost Josh to see his "brothers" get off that bus. I think it would do you great. You don't have to be strong, everyone is going to expect you not to be. but i'm sure josh is going to be there to guide you and give you the strength! God Bless you Chrissy!!!

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  5. i hope that you decide to go Chrissy. if it's painful and you don't think you can wait until the end then leave..but if you don't go, you'll regret not putting forth the effort, and you'll never be able to go back and do it. i think you're a very strong woman, and i have faith in you that you can make it. and Josh would want you to go, and he'll always be with you. every single second...he'd never let you go through anything like that alone. and i'm sure that so many of his fellow marines will be there to greet you and maybe they'll share some memories and make you smile! but either way, you've got hundreds of people supporting your decision. do what makes you feel at peace.

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  6. Chrissy, you can do it. You gave so much strength to Ashleigh when she went. I know you are strong enough to go. I didn't know Josh but from what I read and from talking to Jill I know he loved you very much and will be looking down on you to give you the strength to go. I think it might even bring some peace. Hugs

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  7. Chrissy,

    I won't even begin to pretend that I know what you should do, but remember what I told you at Goose's funeral. Whether people like it or not, this homecoming is ultimately about the marines of 2/9 which includes Josh and Goose and all the others who gave their all. Yes, it is somewhat about the families, and yes, it is suppose to be a happy time, but anyone that thinks that those guys (or many of the rest of us for that matter) are not going to have their fallen brothers on their minds when they step off that bus is delusional. I am happy for all the guys to be coming home, but I would gladly forego standing their waiting on Preston to stand beside you, and I know he wouldn't mind because we have discussed it, and you have more than earned the right to be there, and as far as I am concerned, you have more right to be there than I do. I know that what I am saying may upset some people, but well, I really don't care. If you don't go because you don't want to go or don't feel it is what you should do, then do what is right for you, but please don't choose not to go because someone else told you that you shouldn't. Everyone has their own journey, and if this is part of yours, then walk it with your head held high just like you have been this whole time. If you do go, call me, text me, throw a rock at me, whatever, and I'll be there. It would be my honor and privilege.

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  8. I'm not the significant other of a fallen Marine, but I am the wife of a Marine who cared for many who lost theirs while in Afghanistan. When we talked about them attending homecoming, nearly every one decided not to go and don't regret not going. It's definitely a difficult decision and there are pros and cons to both going and not going, but the only thing I can say is do what you feel in your heart is right. And remember, while the poster above me is correct that Josh and all other fallen will be in the hearts and minds of everyone that day, the focus is on the families welcoming home their Marines. So, if you do decide to go, I would suggest bringing someone with you who has no one coming back that day and who you can lean on for support because the wives and Marines will be focusing on their families. I hope you don't take that to mean you don't or won't matter to them, because you do and will, but I can tell you from experience that it is easy for families of the fallen to feel "left out" or "forgotten" that day and that's the last thing you need. I wish you the most sincere peace in your decision and hope that it turns out exactly as you plan.

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  9. It may be the second hardest day of your life, but you cant allow yourself to possibly regret not going. It only happens once. We are all here for you. I was going to write a long "blah blah blah" about why you should go, but then I read what Christy said. She's just too good with words - I cant beat it. If deep down inside you really dont want to go, then don't go. Like Christy said, for some people it is going to be an extremely happy day. But amidst all of the happiness, EVERYONE needs to remember those who gave their lives. EVERYONE needs to remember you and the rest of the widows and families left behind. It may not be a pretty day, but heck, the deployment has not been pretty. You've made it this far. You can do it.

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