I'm blog happy today just because it's been such a shit day.
I got your box back. Talk about another reality check.
I really do not know how I'm going to keep doing this. Being a "war widow" is the worst thing someone could ever go through. Really right now? I'm 20 years old! As if my life hasn't been hard enough this happens to me. I swear to God I have had the worst 20 years out of anyone I know. Today I should be happy.. we would be half way done with this deployment and we'd be on our way to starting our Marine Corps free life. Now when February rolls around. Instead of getting you back and getting my "rock" I get nothing. Wtf is up with that?
I just want you back in my life. I lost such a huge part of me and I have no freaking clue how to live without it. I watched the Steeler game and it hurts more and more every time when I can't give you my full report/analysis on the games. I keep looking at my facebook and seeing your chat box in the right hand corner and I just keep thinking maybe it'll light up again. I know it won't, but I refuse to close it.
I'm so angry that there are girls back here cheating on their husbands/boyfriends and not giving a crap about what happens. But you better believe they're 100% alive and well. Yeah, that's real fair. Really God, get your priorities straight. Just wait Joshua when I'm on my way to the pearly gates I'm bitching thee entire way up (cause I know you probably miss that oh so much). Me and God are gonna have a very looooooooooooooong chit chat when I get there.
To top it off I've inherited "widow brain" as it has been deemed by others. I cannot remember anything these days and it becomes more and more obvious everyday. You know how I am.. I color code my freaking organizer for each class! But now, I can't remember a damn thing. Ask the people I work with. I screw stuff up all the time and it's really starting to make me mad. Someone will talk to me and I forget instantly, I don't remember how to do things or go places. Talk about annoying.
Well. Me and my bitchy self need to do some homework that I will probably just look at. I know, I know, "Christina Marie, what did I tell you? Worry about school." I got it babe don't worry.