Friday, October 1, 2010

22nd Birthday

I'm so sad you aren't here to celebrate it. I'm sure you're doing it justice up in the sky but it isn't the same. I did however get out of bed this morning so I should get a gold star for that.

This was your birthday weekend last year:

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I'm almost positive you were drunk the entire 72 that weekend. At the time I wasn't exactly thrilled, but i'm so glad you made the most of it.

The only thing getting me through this day is knowing you would want us celebrating for you. Life was a fun party for you and the rest of us should live up to your expectations. I just wish I could change this. It's a hard hit when it's only been 4 weeks and this is the first of the "firsts." I'll be honest- I don't like it one single bit.

I'm such an emotional roller coaster. Last night your friends from high school managed to get some laughs out of me by telling stories. I'm glad that almost all of the memories that include you bring a good laugh with it. That was the kind of person you were and everyone loved you for it.

I miss that. As I drive to school in the mornings and on my way home I can hear your voice. I miss being able to call you on my drive in here. It usually had some good story that you and your fellow marines (a.k.a. boyfriends) were into or what had happened the night before. The way you said things to me, the way you laughed. I want it back.

Today just breaks my heart. I feel like i'm going to live this pain forever and I just want it to go away. That's just not gonna happen until I see you again..

Happy Birthday, Love.


Btw- I just went outside. It couldn't be a more perfect day for you, you're still here <3

2 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Josh!
    We love you Chrissy.

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  2. Happy Birthday Josh.

    Chrissy- I don't know you, but have been reading your blog. I can't even imagine the journey you are going through right now, so I won't try to even justify it. But from what I can see you have a huge support group of family and friends. He was a hero and I know you are proud of that. Hold your head high and keep going for Josh.

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