Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Reality Check

Now that I have your arrival home and funeral plans I feel like someone just smacked me in the face. I can't believe I really have to do this right now. You, my friend, better find some way to be with me the next few days. I need you.

I wish there was something I could do to take this all away. Or if I could go back 4 years and try to convince you otherwise of your career plans. I just didn't have to heart to push you much harder out of something you didn't want and I know you were only giving up this life because of me. It hurts more than you know to realize that I am really going to have to tell you goodbye tomorrow. No more "see you laters." This is it. I don't want to live my life without you, this isn't how it was supposed to go.

Just know that no matter what I do later in life, you will be with me every single day. I pray to God that when this life is over I will see you again. Remember how I always told you I was scared to die? I'm not anymore, because I hope that you are there waiting for me with open arms.
I hope you know how much I love you and I am so proud of you. They took you out for a reason and it's because you were a damn good Marine.

So many people have reached out to me that knew you. I get a lot of "he was my best friend" "he was a great marine (and even the "if he just would've behaved outside of work" :p I know, I know, but I still had to say it :)) Regardless. You made such an impact on so many people and it warms my heart when complete strangers find me and tell me what you meant to them. From your battalion, people you served with, people you just met once or twice, everyone. It's amazing. You're amazing. I know that I will never meet another person like you.

I'll see you tomorrow. Love you more (and no arguing, please).

Btw- I know that was you messing with my radio yesterday. It doesn't magically change stations on its own to stop me from listening to that song. :)


  1. Chrissy I love you! I am convinced that when this life is over, you will be back in his arms. I truly believe that death, war, hate, etc exist on this earth because of sin, and in heaven there will be no sin, only goodness and love for eternity. No longer will you have to bear this pain and hole in your heart because you will be with your love, forever.

  2. Chrissy, I admire how strong you are being. You are a brave lady. I love you!

  3. Gosh, my heart is breaking for you right now! You will get through this I just know it! My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you!