Sunday, September 5, 2010

Still writing..

Here or not I'm going to write to you everyday. It still hasn't fully registered to me that you are really gone. I saw a picture of you coming off the plane in Dover and it didn't sit well with me. I have so many unanswered questions; most of which I will never have an answer too. The last time I talked to you, you were so excited about those guys you had gotten that day. You weren't going back out so I felt okay. But the fact that they managed to target you on your very next patrol sickens me and makes me feel as if it wasn't by random chance. I feel as if I knew or if I should have warned you. You of all people know how fearful I was about you leaving. But being the person you were, you were confident and assured me you would be here.
My biggest fear is the unknown of my life. For so long we have talked of wedding plans, children of our own, the life we wanted to live. I never knew how fast that would be taken away from me. I want you to know that no matter what happens here on out, you are such a huge part of my life and I will never ever forget you. I will think of you everyday and look back on all of the memories we had. There really is no one like you or that could take your place. I can't imagine trying to find someone who would do the things that you did for me. As you watch over me from here on out I hope you're proud of me and still love me and wait for the day until I can see you again just as much as I will.
I love you, forever and always.
See you soon, Love.
pickle

4 comments:

  1. I feel like I could have written this myself, it's so crazy how we all feel much of the same things... it blows my mind reading other ladies' stuff because it's so similar to my own feelings. HUG HUG!

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  2. [hug]
    When I saw the thread on CorpsWives, my first thought was: NOT. POSSIBLE!

    God is so cruel. This is NOT fair. Just ... NOT. You had plans! When he sent you the Tiffany's box, I just had this vision in my head of him coming home from this deployment and presenting you with a proposal.

    You deserved the life you had pictured in your mind. I can't understand how God is behind this one or how this could possibly be part of His plan. It's absolutely unneccessary pain.

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  3. I have no words - only tears. I want to embrace you and comfort you.

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  4. wow no words can express just hugs and more hugs my hubby is currently in afghanistan and i worry about him so much everyday. you are a true hero

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